Live Report from CTW Charity Wrestling “Fight Cystic Fibrosis 2016”

For 60 long seconds, I looked at it.

“The Product” David Starr stood above me, his acclaimed groin mere inches from my face, flexing in front of 70 jeering fans packed inside the Knights of Columbus. His opponent, “The Bulldozer” Matt Tremont, slowly rose behind him. It may not seem wise to turn your back on a man who specializes in deathmatches, and you’d be right.

But when you’re the “King of Taunts,” vanity becomes you.

In their first ever encounter, Tremont and Starr rocked the house. A contrast in styles—Starr, the cocky, agile technician and Tremont, the bloodthirsty bruiser—proved to be a winning formula as the CZW stars brawled into the crowd, each taking a seat to exchange fisticuffs. Eventually, they made it back inside the ring where Tremont scooped Starr up onto his shoulders for a Death Valley Driver and the victory.

As hellacious as the action was, it was the complimentary words Tremont shared with Starr after the match that left fans speechless. These two warriors, who you’d never catch at the bar together, shook hands in a sign of mutual respect.

After all, they fought for a good cause.

CTW Charity Wrestling presented the second “Fight Cystic Fibrosis” show on Saturday in Sayreville, New Jersey. With a lineup of ten matches, an N64 “WWF No Mercy” tournament, Escape the Room ticket raffles and a meet-and-greet with Cryme Tyme, CTW provided the ultimate family-friendly wrasslin’ event.

Owner Colin West began the tradition to honor Vinnie Freda, a 22-year-old Jersey kid who had to stop wrestling two years ago because he was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis, a genetic disease that causes lung infections and limits the ability to breathe over time.

“He’s the most charismatic, kind, caring and genuine person,” West said.

More than 30,000 people live with cystic fibrosis in the U.S. However, because that amount is fewer than 200,000 people, it has been declared an orphan disease by the pharmaceutical industry, meaning it provides little financial incentive for the private sector to make new medications to treat it.

“It’s up to us,” West said. With 100% of proceeds supporting the Cystic Fibrosis Foundation, West said that raised about $2000 on Saturday.

And if laughter is truly the best medicine, CTW may have found a temporary cure during The Dick Justice Battle for Justice. Here are the cast of characters who participated in this fatal five-way match: —“Supercop” Dick Justice, whose American flag fanny pack seemed ready to burst off his belly at any moment; “2 Hot” Steve Scott, who has taken Tyler Breeze’s selfie gimmick to the extreme by clutching his phone while wrestling; Sonny Kiss, a twerkin’ danceaholic; Jay Freddie, a no-nonsense grappler; and then Billy Avery.

In the vein of Mikey Whipwreck and Colin Delaney, Billy Avery is the ultimate underdog. With his scrawny frame and dearth of confidence, Avery looks like he’d be more comfortable at the ticket counter than in the ring. But what he lacks in credibility, he makes up for in catchy entrance music. Step aside, Bobby Roode—this is the best pro wrestling theme song today.

The match itself was full of shenanigans including a group selfie, a twerk off, and Avery attempting moves that ended up hurting himself. At the end of the match, everybody went into slow-motion as Dick Justice threatened to shoot Avery, who used Scott’s phone to call his mom and tell her he loves her. Then Justice pulled the trigger, and Scott jumped in front of Avery, taking the imaginary bullet, which pierced through his phone. Luckily, Justice and Billy were able to revive the phone (albeit not Scott) and Justice hit a Boss Man Slam for the victory.

Earlier in the night, “Wrestling’s Richest Prize” Darius Carter bested Danny Demanto in another falls count anywhere match. Draped in a Y2Jesque scarf, Carter demanded the referee hold the ropes for his entrance, kicked out the ring announcer, and then told a fat woman her chair was suffocating.

He was my favorite.

Demanto responded to all these dick moves by informing Carter: “You look like Eddie Murphy and Steve Urkel had a love child.”

Thus, the fight was on. Carter and Demanto attacked each other all around the ring, using the ring bell and even a fan’s chair, until Carter collapsed onto the floor and grabbed his leg. Pleading with the ref to stop the match, Carter claimed he couldn’t move his leg. Demanto stayed away, unsure if he was playing possum, but then realized the injury was legit. Demanto apologized to the crowd for the match stopping and asked for a round of applause as he helped Carter off the ground.

Of course, Carter immediately closelined him in the best feigned injury spot I’ve ever seen.

In other action, “The Wretched” Bowes destroyed Chris Powers, The Rogues beat Flawless & Lawless, Kyle the Beast defeated Azrieal, Drake Chambers pinned “Bad Apple” Matt Macintosh, King Tek successfully defended his UWA Elite iChampionship against Vinny Pacifico and Joey Adams, and Terra Calaway put her feet on the ropes to hold down ECW original Angel Orsini for the 3 count.

“Low Life” Louis Ramos was presented the award for all of his contributions to independent wrestling over the past 20 years. The roster surrounded the ring, including his trainer Homicide, and cheered the retired deathmatch legend.

Speaking of Homicide, there are few wrestlers left who carry an element of true danger—Sabu and Brock Lesnar come to mind. But the “Notorious 187” ushered in that sense of unpredictability in the main event. He tossed Archadia into the ring post, slammed him on the floor, ripped his chest with blistering chops, smashed his head into the merch tables, even threatened fans. After a lengthy night of comedy and goodwill, the crowd was stunned to see such unadulterated violence. The hometown boy finally fought back with a flurry of offense, but Homicide cut him off with a decapitating lariat. Then he went for a sunset flip, but Archadia countered into a pin ala Bret/Bulldog SummerSlam 92 for the win.

Homicide grabbed the mic after the match and blamed the ref for the loss. But then he went on to say Archadia was the most underrated wrestler in the world and it was an honor to face him.

A sign of humility, an unpredictable show of respect, from a man named Homicide?

Hey, it was for a good cause.