I am Jacques Martín-Lawlór, making my debut as resident Wrestledelphia.com fashionista and dating adviser, here to serve wrestling fans with sure-fire knowledge on how to style ‘n’ profile.
One thing I’ve noticed about spectators of the squared circle is that they cannot talk to women.
“I’ve got two words for you—suck it” isn’t the best pickup line, nor is saying “Yes! Yes! Yes!” when she’s telling you “No! No! No!” But, alas, the Last Real Man from Le Mans is here to help you get “Paid, Made, and Laid.”
All you have to do is bring a little SuperKick to the party.
When going out to the club, be sure to wear your Bullet Club t-shirt. Most women won’t know what it means because they’re too busy keeping up with the Kardashians and not watching indy wrestling, so they’ll think you’re part of some gang. If television has shown us anything that’s what les femelles want. But it doesn’t just end with the T-shirt.
You also have to wear your best pair of wrestling tights—branded with the Bullet Club logo—and fringed boots. If you wanna look like a IWGP Junior Heavyweight Tag Team Champion, you have to dress like one. But don’t think just because you have the attention of everyone in the club that you’ll Meltzer Drive your way into being some lady’s regret just yet. All males must be super kicked.
One by one, you’ll be the last man standing, and by default, the most over guy in the club. If you can manage to get away before the cops come, chances are that at least one woman will find your display attractive and maybe you’ll get to show her your Big Dick Johnson.
Wrestledelphia.com fashion columnist Jacques Martín-Lawlór can be reached at . Follow him on Twitter at .
Jacques Martín-Lawlór
