Corrigan’s Corner: History Of “Hot Lesbian Action”

The WWE Divas Champion Paige is the hottest woman in professional wrestling right now. Is it her thick English accent? Her crazy chick vibe? Her Lawler lusting youth?

Yeah, all that, and this:

Reminiscent of HLA. What’s that? You don’t remember the days before Fruity Pebbles’ sponsorships and blood banning—when two scantily-clad, balloon chested women would engage in Hot Lesbian Action on WWE TV?

Well, it happened, and you can thank Eric Bischoff.

On one brisk September night in 2002, then-acting Raw General Manager Bischoff promised to create controversy by debuting Hot Lesbian Action in a wrasslin’ ring.

As a naïve 10 year old who recently knew of “puppies” by discovering his uncle’s stash of black pornos in the basement (I have therapy twice a week, don’t worry) HLA seemed like a magical event my mother wouldn’t approve of. I didn’t even know what lesbians were, unlike nowadays, when kids learn the LGBT acronym right after LOL.

Later that night, a blonde and brunette waltzed out holding hands to the roar of the crowd. We now know they were professional wrestlers Looney Lane and Savvy Sasha from Los Angeles indy promotion Ultimate Pro Wrestling. But back then, they were about to be history-makers, stimulating fans and drawing high ratings for the downward spiral stemming from the end of the Attitude Era. Which is ironic because a segment promoting two women performing intercourse without any ties to wrestling would fit more appropriately with Vince Russo behind the scenes.

Anyhoo, Easy E convinces the ladies to disrobe into their bra and panties, and then tells them to make out. A little tonsil hockey happens, Lawler explodes behind the announce table, and then Bischoff claims “”

Rosey and Jamal, two Samoan monsters known as Three Minute Warning, emerge from the crowd and pounce on the women. Superkick, Samoan Drop, splash from the top rope…bam. HLA commences and vintage WWE bait-and-switch wins again.

Only a couple months later, HLA was revisited, this time on SmackDown. Torrie Wilson, who you may recall graced the cover of Playboy and currently graces the face of New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez, for some unknown reason brought her father to the matches. Now Wilson has never executed a proper Suplex, so who knows why she felt her father had to see his little girl in action. Regardless, her arch nemesis Dawn Marie apparently had the hots for Mr. Wilson (First name: Al.) At least 25 years his junior, the smokeshow Marie planned to marry Mr. Wilson, unless his daughter agreed to spend the night at a hotel with her potential stepmother.

You still with me? Good.

So Torrie spends the night with Dawn, they kiss, and we’re lead to believe a whole lot more once the camera stopped. It’s like the ending of The Sopranos, except nobody cares.

Marie eventually reneged on her deal, married Al, and killed him with sex. Then the divas brawled at the funeral home until Paul Bearer broke it up. J.K….he wasn’t there, but that’s the most believable aspect of the whole saga, right?

About three years later, the best HLA experience occurred between WWE Women’s Champion Trish Stratus and her stalker, Mickie James. It’s my favorite storyline of all time involving the divas, as Mickie appeared like a hardcore Trish fan, similar to a Belieber. She would team with Trish, cheer her on, use her signature moves, even dress up like her. On a Christmas edition of Raw, Mickie and Trish were talking backstage, and then Mickie pointed up to mistletoe. You know the rest.

Well, Trish didn’t appreciate the love from Mickie and they embarked on a feud leading to WrestleMania 22. Mickie eventually defeated her idol for the WWE Women’s Championship, but not before coming .

Take notes, Paige.

Wrestledelphia.com assistant editor John Corrigan can be reached at . Follow him on Twitter at .