Corrigan’s Corner: Who Else Never (But Should Have) Main-Evented WrestleMania?

It’s finally clobberin’ time for WWE.

Spending my first Thanksgiving away from family, friends, and green bean casserole, I expected to feed the homeless and sob on my recliner clutching a mug of spiked hot chocolate. However, I stumbled upon a Tweet quoting CM Punk around 1 a.m. Something to the effect of “You didn’t buy my house, I bought my house motherfucker.”

My eyebrows rose. My curiosity peaked. Could the Best in the World have broken his silence?

Aw HELL YEAH!

By now, you probably have heard Colt Cabana’s epic podcast where Punk reveals why he walked out of WWE, so I won’t recap. But I will offer my thoughts in the next Corrigan’s Corner about the haters who think he’s a selfish prick for leaving because he didn’t get what he wanted.

And what did he want? The main event of WrestleMania.

The Holy Grail of professional wrestling. The pinnacle of every young fan’s dream.

Should he have main-evented a WrestleMania? Of course. Which one? Take your pick.

27: Cena vs. Miz…that match sucked. 29: Cena vs. The Rock…we didn’t need to see it again.

30: Well, according to Punk, it was scheduled to be Batista vs. Randy Orton, which would have been the first heel vs. heel Mania ever.

So yeah, Punk should have closed THEE show once in his career.

But he’s not the only one.

Mr. Perfect should have main-evented WrestleMania IX, often referred to as the all-time worst edition in Mania anthology. Headlined by WWE Champion Bret Hart defending against Yokozuna, the man raising the gold high above at the end of the night was Hulk Hogan. To this day it doesn’t make sense. Here’s what should have happened:

Bret Hart still enters Caesar’s Palace as the champion. However, Yokozuna should have still been squashing the roster. Having debuted on Halloween night 1992, the sumo Samoan didn’t have enough heat to sell the biggest pay-per-view of the year by April. But Mr. Perfect did. After turning on Bobby Heenan and Ric Flair in November, Perfect matched only Randy Savage in popularity. He then kicked it up a notch by defeating Flair in a “Loser Leaves WWE” match the night after the Royal Rumble. You could easily have had Perfect eliminate Flair to win the Rumble and then have Flair put his career on the line against Perfect’s Mania title shot. You get the same result, but a more anticipated Mania.

Thus, Perfect challenges Hart in a rematch from their classic SummerSlam 91 Intercontinental Championship bout.

Fantasy booking is good for the soul.

Jeff Hardy should have main-evented WrestleMania XXV, because he was the hottest underdog in wrasslin’ history. Fresh off winning the WWE Championship at Armageddon, the “Rainbow Haired Warrior” was finally at the top of the card, delivering thrilling matches for his massive fan base. But then he got screwed by his brother Matt, and lost the strap within a month to Edge.

Now I like Edge as much as the next Canadian, but his triple threat with Cena and Big Show at Mania 25 is forgettable. You probably didn’t remember it until you read this. You only remember Mania 25 for Orton and HHH stinking out the joint, and Taker and Michaels tearing down Reliant Stadium. And if WWE officials decided Taker and Michaels weren’t going to close the show (illogical, I agree,) then Hardy challenging for or defending the title against any combination of Cena, Show, Edge, and Matt would have been best for business.

If you’re looking for Eddie Guerrero’s plea, you won’t find it on this list. Although Latino Heat was the defending WWE Champion at WrestleMania XX, that main event slot belonged to his amigo Chris Benoit.

Diesel should have main-evented WrestleMania XI, which featured the NFL’s Lawrence Taylor battling Bam Bam Bigelow in the finale. Call me a traditionalist, but WRESTLEMania should always end with professional wrestlers or Mr. T. (You don’t fuck with Clubber Lang.)

Even though Kevin Nash isn’t known for his in-ring prowess, he was the reigning WWE Champion at the time. As a matter of fact, “Big Daddy Cool” would go on to hold the strap for almost a calendar year. That’s Mania main-event worthy. And this one is an easy fix—flip flop Bigelow/LT with Diesel and his opponent that night: Shawn Michaels.

And the only man who should be more irate than CM Punk…

Ric Flair should have main-evented WrestleMania VIII AND WrestleMania XXIV.

How does the greatest pro wrestler to ever lace up a pair of boots NOT close the Grandaddy of Em All? The Nature Boy was not only denied the dream match against Hogan at Mania 8, but also pushed down the card to defend the WWE Championship against Macho Man. What’s the greater tragedy: Orton/HHH rather than HBK/Taker or SID/HULK rather than Flair/Savage?

Blame it on the ICOPRO.

16 years later, the 16-time Heavyweight Champion of the World was bamboozled again at WrestleMania 24. Because of some cockamamie myth that Mania should always end with a title match, despite Manias 1, 11, and later 26 and 28 disproving that, Edge vs. Taker closed out 24 instead of Ric Flair’s RETIREMENT match against MR. WRESTLEMANIA.
I don’t care that he returned to the ring in TNA, he hasn’t got tossed off a WWE turnbuckle since.

Dammit, that ain’t fair to Flair!

Wrestledelphia.com assistant editor John Corrigan can be reached at . Follow him on Twitter at .